My Magnolia Tree

Two years ago today we lost a little boy. I miss him even though it's not so painful. This was a crazy morning, Sebastian wanted pancakes, but we were running late. Evi couldn't find clean socks, and all the whites were in the washer waiting to be transferred to the dryer. While I was doing that, Sebastian decided chocolate milk sounded good and made himself some, with a big mess, Evi didn't want what was being served in the cafeteria, so I had to rush to make a lunch. Finally.. everyone was out the door, backpacks and lunches too, when Evi said it was too cold and she needed a jacket, so she came back in to get one, and got back to the car without her lunch that she brought in when she came to get the jacket. After a prayer and a kiss, I dropped her off, and when I got back home I saw my magnolia tree. My constant reminder that Paul is gone. I thought. What if I had a child with a severe sickness? What would my morning be like? Would I be frustrated that he took up so much of my time? Would I neglect my other children more, since he needed me more? There are a lot of "what ifs", but I believe that God has a purpose, and one day I will have all my children together, driving me nuts and I will enjoy it!