What we did for Christmas

Last night we said goodbye to a sweet little man who is embarking on a new journey with one of the greatest couples we know. I told Juan "It will be easier because we like them so much", but it is still hard. Evi said "Why can't God just answer my prayer and give me a baby brother or sister" I told her that we want the child God has for us, not the child who was meant to be someone else's. We will be keeping busy with Shawn since he is now starting to use the potty and has been moved to a big boy bed!


We were able to spend Christmas with the family that is adopting. My sister was sweet to let us crash her house while they were in New Mexico. We were able to have some good laughs as well as some much needed last minute snuggle time. We got some snow, and weren't able to get out. That is the down side of living on a farm, no one shovels your street. Thanks Charissa for letting us make ourselves at home.


Sebastian fed Buddy the calf, and the chickens.


We decided to decorate sugar cookies to have some sweets for after dinner, and of course to leave some out for Santa. When Sebastian saw that we were adding wood to the fire, he told us not to forget to put it out so Santa could come down the chimney without getting burned.


We made bird feeders just in time for the big snow. We cut out bread with cookie cutters, poured some peanut butter into them, and topped them with nuts, coconut, raisins, and anything else we thought the birds might like. We hung them out by the bird house.

Saying goodbye

This week we will be saying good-bye to one of our family members. We have had the joy of taking care of a little boy since he was 6 weeks old. We are sad to have him go, but joyful that he has found a forever family. We were able to spend Christmas with him, his sister, and new parents, and I must say that we could not have chosen a better family ourselves. We see God's hand all over this situation. We will remember the past 6 months as he has developed his little personality, and gotten teeth, and started sitting up. We hope to stay in touch with the family, as we have felt that we have become good friends.
Thanks to all of our family and friends who have come along for the ride. We have been blessed to have this little man in our lives these past 6 months.

One of my biggest blessings

Juan and I prayed and prayed for this little guy. We thought that we were supposed to adopt, and as soon as all the paperwork was in place, I found out we were expecting. We decided to have another home birth, but this time we decided on a water birth. I loved it! There is something very relaxing about birthing in water.
Today is my little man turns five. I have this sappy thing about watching my kids' birth video on their birthdays, and I still cry. The miracle of birth is an amazing thing.
Last night we had a little pirate party for the birthday boy, and had fun with friends and family. I think no one else remembers the nights I cried for over 3 years, pleading to God to give me another child. Thank you Lord for answering my prayer. Thank you, thank you.
Happy Birthday Sebastian!

Does anyone else see a resemblance?

Update

Some of you know that Malachi had an MRI yesterday. He did so good. I think I cried more than he did. I think what hurt the most was being in the waiting room, seeing families there to support their family members, and me being there alone.
His head has started having it's own growth pattern and the Pediatrician was a little concerned. His MRI showed that his sutures are still open, and the brain has room to grow. She said that operating wasn't the best option, but maybe a little helmet to help re-shape the head.
So we go back in 3 weeks to see if there is any change, and we may be headed (no pun intended) to Oklahoma City for the fitting of a helmet. Please continue to keep this little man in your prayers. I will keep you updated.

When Juan and I were expecting we never found out what we were having. We think it ruins the fun, like opening your Christmas present before Christmas. I feel that if we were meant to know what we were having, God would have made us with a little window on our belly so we could know what color to paint the walls ;-)
So when we found out we were expecting our second child, we thought of names. If it was a girl she was going to be Lilia Pearl and then we thought and thought and thought of boy names. We couldn't agree on a boy name. I wanted something short, since Evianna had a hard time in Pre-K learning to write her name. Levi, Marco, Max, Bob, Nick.. we could not find a name we could both agree on. Most people don't know that Sebastians first name is Juan, but I didn't want to have 2 Juan's in the house, so we agreed that we would call him by his middle name, since that is kind of a family tradition with the men in my family.
So on a Sunday on our way to church, we agreed that if it were a boy, he would be Juan Sebastian and I went into labor the following day.
So, Sebastian was born the next day. He is now in Pre-K and learning to write his name. I am so proud of him! The thing is.. once he realized how hard his name is to write, he decided he wants to be called "Pete" So here is his name written both ways.

It's been a while

I don't even know if people read this blog, but I guess it is a way for me to get things off my chest. I haven't been blogging in a while just because going from 2 kids to 4 is a big change... for me anyway.
I have days that I am excited, and some days I am sad. I have feelings that confuse me, and other days I have no clue how to react or respond.
Today is one of those days. Today is Shawns birthday. He is two and he has been with us 7 months. Last night we celebrated with my sister and her family. It makes me sad to know that a mother is broken today because she can't snuggle the child she gave birth to two years ago. It makes me sad to know that Malachi has two new teeth, and his mother has no idea. It makes me sad that I am only good enough to take care of Malachi short term, but I am not good enough to love him as a son. It makes me sad that Native Americans are the only ones who can adopt a Native American child.
I know it sounds that I favor one foster child over the next, but the truth is, Shawn has a mother who is trying her hardest to get her children back. I have never seen myself as his mom. He sees his mother and interacts with her, he hugs her and loves her. I am holding her place till she gets better.
The other situation breaks me. I can only hope that Malachi feels our love, and whatever family is fortunate to have him in their lives, lets him know how much we love him. In the meantime, I will journal my feelings, and his growth, and all the cute things he does like grabbing his feet during a diaper change, and smiling at a shelf.
As for our own kids, they are doing great. Sebastian is loving school, and Evi is growing up so fast. She helps me with the boys. Having foster kids makes me want to be a better mom. To hold and hug and kiss my kids, and tell them how important they are to me. To show them, that just because we are taking care of kids whose parents aren't able to care for them, doesn't make them less important. Hopefully they will see it as that we are showing love to someone who needs to be loved, right now in this moment.
I hope today you can look past the little things that are standing in the way of the big things. Let someone know that they are loved. A little snuggle time can go a long way.